Dear Heather,

I was married this past year to an incredible woman.  She grew up in Michigan and I am a Tucson native.  Since we met, we have stayed in town during the holidays because of work obligations.  Now that we are married and planning for a family, my wife has expressed interest in going home to Michigan for the holidays.  I don’t love the idea of traveling during the holidays but I also understand the desire to be around family.  I don’t want to seem insensitive when I discuss this with my wife.  Do you have any suggestions? Thank you!

Help My Holidays

Dear Help,

Congratulations on your recent marriage!  Growing up requires a lot of flexibility.  We have more people in our circles, more feelings to care for, and quite frankly, more chaos.  If it is truly important to your wife to see her family over the holidays, I think it’s fair to make that happen.  With that being said, maybe you have the discussion now about alternating years of travel, if that is possible.  Maybe this year you and your wife travel to Michigan, and next year you stay home.  You could always throw in the idea of her family traveling to you on the alternate year or even on the third year by opening your home to them.  I’m sure that with a little conversation, flexibility and understanding, you will all reach a compromise that will bring holiday cheer to all!

Happy holidays! Heather

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