By Jennifer Phelps of Jennifer Phelps: Organize, Design, Reinvent!
Organizing for Couples: I read a meme once that advised, “Before you get married ask, ‘What is a reasonable number of T-shirts for one person to own.’ Because it will come up.” For all the reasons we love our mate during this, the month of romance, one of the things couples fight about most is … stuff. Maybe because the universe has a sense of humor, we usually match up with our exact opposite, which is why studies show that 48% of couples argue about clutter (sparefoot.com). I’m here to help you get your spark back before you just burn it all down.
First, talk about it with an open mind and heart. See if you are both on the same page or not. Go through the house and see which areas are most aggravating to each of you and make a list of priority areas. Make a list of what needs to be done for one or both of you to feel satisfied. Ideally, this will help you each understand each other’s issues and goals more clearly.
Decide whether you will work together, if each of you will be in charge of certain areas or items, or if one of you will do the gathering and clearing. Last, agree on who needs to review items before they leave the house. For example, the old DVDs may be donated without review, but tools and books have to be reviewed by both.
Schedule a time to work together decluttering. Put it on the calendar, even if it’s just a few minutes at a time. If one of you will be clearing and the other reviewing, set a timeline for that review, so that the stuff doesn’t just end up in a pile in the hallway forever.
It is very important that you are on the same page regarding sentimental or heirloom items, and never, ever remove or rearrange your mate’s personal items, especially if there is any contention. Focus on your own stuff and, hopefully, your mate will follow.
Make a pact that certain areas are to remain clear, like the kitchen counter, the home office, bedroom and other shared spaces. If you still disagree, then there are options. Designate specific areas that each of you can leave as messy as you like without comment from the other. That may be one side of the garage, the man cave, craft room or a closet.
If you’ve been arguing a long time and can’t get on the same page, get help. Hire a professional organizer to referee the process or see a counselor, as arguing over items may be a symptom of a deeper relationship issue.
No matter what your dynamic, remember that your relationship is more important than any stuff and schedule a date night or play day together to reward your hard work. Clearing the clutter will help clear the air and get your spark back!
Before the wedding or moving in: (https://www.brides.com/story/how-to-organize-your-home-as-a-couple)
Couples in general: (https://clearsimple.com/couples/). Schedule time for work day and play day. Each person has own space to keep as they want. Plan your next project together. Make sure your goals and vision for end results align (beforehand).
https://organizedassistant.com/organizing-couples-professional-organizers-blog-carnival/
https://www.sparefoot.com/self-storage/blog/16978-how-to-get-your-spouse-to-get-organized/
https://www.refinedroomsllc.com/clutter-clashes-what-to-do-when-your-partner-sabotages-your-organizing-efforts/
When you disagree: (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/home/how-to-live-together-in-peace-when-your-organizing-styles-are-at-war/2017/07/18/3a16a88a-665a-11e7-8eb5 cbccc2e7bfbf_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ed2ab9ef79a4).
Make rules for different rooms. Divide and conquer. Get help, like hiring an organizer.
Shared space: couples/siblings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8sck2iXVRI
Kon Mari: Do not organize or toss your partner’s stuff. Especially if you have any of your own stuff to organize/toss! “you do you,” mote in your eye before beam in someone else’s.”
